4 Tips On Raising A Self-Motivated Child

Self-motivation is an important life skill everyone should have regardless of age. It helps us to try again when things don’t work out and to look deep within ourselves for our true purpose.

In schools, self-motivation is even more vital because students who possess this trait have an even stronger purpose and drive to work towards a future they envisioned for themselves.

To cultivate self-motivation, it is important to realise that self-motivation goes hand in hand with feeling competent in one’s abilities. If you are wondering how to teach your child self-motivation, this is a key understanding that you must have.

If your child is feeling disheartened and unmotivated in their studies, it might be because they are not feeling confident that they are able to achieve their own goals or to live up to your expectations.

Honest conversations with your child can help to facilitate the beginning of their own relationship with self-motivation and in extension, with self-directed learning. Read more about self-directed learning here! 

What is motivation like for children?

Psychologically, there are two main types of motivation – intrinsic and extrinsic.

Intrinsic motivation is the motivation and desire to participate in an activity or engage in a behaviour that arises from within the individual. For example, Sally wants to complete her homework right after she gets home from school because it helps her to feel more at ease and ready for the next day of lessons. 

Extrinsic motivation is the motivation to partake activity or engage in the behaviour due to external rewards. For instance, Tom wants to finish his homework quickly because his dad told him that once he is done with his work he can play computer games.

Although these two types of motivation can lead to the same outcome, research has shown that people who do things out of an intrinsic motivation tend to produce better results and a better quality of engagement during the activity.

Those who were found to have intrinsic motivation in their studies for example, were shown in one study at the University of Rochester that they were better able to recall and comprehend the information better.

Tips on raising a self-motivated child

Teaching your child or pushing them towards intrinsic motivation can sometimes result in a lot of frustration. Some parents have tried multiple times through rewards, praises and even punishments to get their children to be motivated but these methods (like the carrot and stick method) do not work in the long run because the rewards and goals are extrinsic. In fact, they can drive your child away from activity you want them to be motivated in.

1. Don’t try to motivate your child the "traditional" way

To be intrinsically motivated is to enjoy an activity on its own. When you try to force your child (even if they might be good at it) to do an activity, most of the time this will push them further away from motivation and interest.

Traditional ways such as praising, nagging, punishing, scolding, rewarding are all counterproductive ways to motivate your child.

2. Give your child a sense of autonomy

As a controlling parent, you cannot motivate your child because the incentive can be separated from the activity itself. Granting your child autonomy and space to take responsibility for their actions can be the start of them making their own decisions.

Autonomy, according to various studies, is essential to intrinsic motivation. When students were given freedom from the pressures of learning, they actually displayed higher quality learning, better conceptual understanding and longer retention.

One of the best ways to inspire your child is by showing them that learning a new skill is fun and emphasising that learning is to acquire new knowledge, not just to get good grades.

3. Let them decide

The thought of having your child make their own decisions at a young age might cause you to worry and feel anxious. However, this reflects your trust in them, boosting their confidence.

Children need to make their own decisions to feel a sense of autonomy which helps them to build a sense of self-determination and in extension, self-motivation. Even if you may disagree with their choices at times, try not to force them to do things your way.

Give them the space to make their own decisions with your guidance to turn to when they are in doubt. This way, a safe space is created for them to trial-and-error as they learn how to navigate through life.

4. Finding a suitable challenge for them

When something is too easy, your child might grow bored easily but if an activity is too hard, they might feel discouraged or have self-doubt.

Finding an optimal challenge that is a good balance of the two should be something that is achievable (although it might require more work) This is a good starting line as it allows your child to challenge themselves without feeling too negative or dejected.

This way, while the activity challenges them, it also provides them with the gratification that will fuel their self-motivation levels. 

Snapask Promotes Self-motivation

We believe that self-motivation is key to self-directed learning at Snapask and we provide plans that allow your child to explore self-learning.

Our plans do not simply hand your child answers but our tutors will guide them towards understanding through revisions and guided help with tutors who are best suited for them. To find out more about our affordable plans and what we offer, please check out this link.

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