5 Tips On Handling Friendship Problems In School

The challenges students have to face in school are not just related to their academics, friendship problems are also part and parcel of growing up.

Often, emotional ramifications from severe conflicts in school can spill over to other areas such as family and work life. If unresolved, it may also lead to a series of mental health problems.

Check out these tips you can try when attempting to manage difficult friendships and the emotions that arise from them.

1. Talk to your school counselor

Many students may feel hesitant to approach the school counselor as they might feel self-conscious or they might be worried that everyone will find out. 

Be rest assured that your school counselor will not tell anyone what you have told them without asking you. It is also good to remember that everyone has difficult issues to deal with on their own from time to time. It can be a “small” matter like a quarrel with your best friend, or a “big” issue like being bullied by your peers, do not hesitate to seek help and guidance when you need it! 

Just having someone to listen to your problems can be incredibly liberating. Your school counselor is a trained professional who can offer you good tips to help you deal with your problems. Having an outsider’s perspective can also help you to look at the problem more objectively.

2. Seek help from mental health hotlines

If your school counselor is unable to provide the support you need, you can try contacting external mental health hotlines instead.

As a student, cost is a common concern. Fortunately, there are affordable counseling services in Singapore that you can check out.

Here are some places that offer free counseling sessions:

• Silver Ribbon Singapore
• Singapore Association for Mental Health
• Care Corner Counseling Centre
• Fei Yue eCounseling Centre 

Any information you disclose during those sessions will be kept confidential so you do not have to worry about people in school or at home finding out about what has happened to you.

3. Keep a journal

Besides talking to counselors, penning down your thoughts in your own personal journal is also an effective way to be in touch with your feelings. In your journal, you can honestly communicate your emotions and reveal all that happened without a filter.

Journaling also helps you to recognize your own triggers and reflect on ways you can better control them around others. In addition, it provides an opportunity for you to identify the common situations that bring you stress, and come up with a plan to deal with similar events in the future.

4. Try not overthink it

When a particularly bad conflict occurs in school, you may be tempted to focus all your attention and energy ruminating the encounter. This will result in your feeling unhappy, overwhelmed and stressed. 

To prevent yourself from being consumed by the quarrel or misunderstanding, stop yourself from overthinking. 

Consciously choose to focus on the relationships that are working and the people you are grateful for whenever you start to think negatively. Remember the people who love you and allow that to cheer you up! 

5. If in the wrong, apologise first

Often, conflicts remain unresolved because both sides refuse to admit what they did wrong and choose to wait for the other party to apologise. If you are aware that you are in the wrong, do not hesitate to apologise first even when you know the other side has made mistakes too.

Always choose to be the bigger person. By being the bigger person, you are the one who will benefit the most from it! Not only will you be able to solve the misunderstanding quickly, it also allows you to move on from the incident. Especially if you treasure the friendship, do not let your own ego get in the way. 

Friendship problems in school may be common but that does not downplay its significance.

Seeking the right support and guidance early on not only helps you with the present problems but also paves the way for better relationship building in the future.

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