6 Effective Tips On Encouraging Your Child When They Face Setbacks

In our kiasu (fear to lose) society, making mistakes is not only embarrassing; it can even be seen as fatal. From small errors like buying the wrong groceries to big blunders like failing an exam or sending the wrong email at work, mistakes are often demonized as a whole and children are taught to avoid them as much as they can.

While the consequences of mistakes may not be all pleasant, it is impossible to live error-free. Learning to accept mistakes is an essential step to long-term success. Furthermore, being petrified of making mistakes greatly stifles creativity and progress.

Here are six ways you can motivate your child to see the positive aspects of making mistakes, so they can make full use of them to climb to greater heights.

1. Mistakes help us to learn

The most common benefit of mistakes is helping us to learn and not repeat them. Kids are often told by their teachers to “learn from their mistakes” when they do badly on a test so that they can better prepare for the next exam. However, the habit of learning from your mistakes does not stop outside school.

Mistakes made at work and other aspects of life can be exasperating but they often turn out to be the best teacher in retrospect.

For instance, losing a job due to late submissions of projects will teach you the importance of consistency and discipline. Similarly, burning a cake in the oven due to poor time management makes a strong enough impression on you that you will remember to bake it right next time.

Citing these examples can help your child to understand that mistakes are not the end of the world, and choosing to learn from them makes all the difference.

2. Mistakes Clarify our Life Direction

Sometimes, mistakes are not just important but necessary to allow us to get clear idea on what truly matters to us in our lives. When faced with a life altering decision, such as choosing a career path or what to major in at school, many people do not end up with the right choice right off the bat because they are not sure on what the right fit for them is.

While we may set our sights on some things, we do not know the complete picture until experience informs us. Often, it is only with trial and error that we can truly know what suits us and is aligned with what we value in life.

Letting your child know this early on can save them a lot of heartache when things do not go their way. Instead of seeing the mistake as a dead-end street, you can motivate them to see mistakes as a guide to clarify their life direction.

3. Mistakes Build Resilience

Building emotional agility is not just key to bouncing back from failure, it is also crucial for good mental health.

Growing up fearful of making mistakes can bring about short-term success, but once something goes wrong, your child will quickly feel discouraged. 

Instead of focusing on perfection, encourage your child to accept mistakes as a part and parcel of life that strengthens instead of debilitates them. This frees them to take past failures in stride and remain unfaltering in the face of future challenges, paving the way for more lasting results.

4. Mistakes are Key to Innovation

According to Harvard Business Review, new ideas are more likely to be proposed in the workplace when the leader is “failure tolerant” and treat ideas that do not work as “steps” in the innovation process.

Being too failure averse prevents your child from taking risks that are necessary for change. The only way to prevent mistakes entirely is to rely on tried and tested methods that are safe but do not lead to advancement.

Give your child the freedom to experiment with new ideas and make mistakes along the way. The future world will thank them for it.

5. Mistakes Make for Interesting Anecdotes

If your child is easily embarrassed by past mistakes and finds it hard to move forward, you can remind them of the more lighthearted side of mistakes. A life without calculated risks and mistakes can be boring. While mistakes do not feel good in the moment, they often make for great stories years down the road.

That one time you got rejected from a part-time job for calling your boss the wrong name, or the painfully awkward first public speaking experience? Let your child know that some of the silliest mistakes make for the most interesting anecdotes that they can laugh about at the dining table. More importantly, they are the evidence of an eventful life.

6. Mistakes Deepen Understanding of Ourselves

The learning we can gain from making mistakes is not limited to school and professional settings. Often, mistakes in daily life can also shine light on our blind spots.

For instance, losing a friendship due to one’s anger issues can teach you to be mindful of your own temper and how it affects others. It can also prompt you to seek help and work on emotional regulation. Getting a warning from school for being late can push you to look at how your struggles with punctuality have impacted you in different areas in life. It is only with self-awareness that you can begin seeking the solutions for your unhealthy patterns.

By encouraging your child to change their perspective and treat mistakes as a mirror for their personality flaws, they can effectively use them for self-understanding and self-improvement.

Now that you know of the better consequences of mistakes, it is time to impart this counterintuitive knowledge to your child. As strange as it sounds, sometimes it takes the best mistakes to lead them to their best life.

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