5 Tips In Raising An Independent Child

From cooking their own meal to cleaning up after themselves, raising an independent child may be what most parents would aspire to do.

Raising an independent child is providing them with the life tools they need to make good decisions on their own along with the confidence to carry out the tasks on their own. Parents need to provide the child the right environment to develop the necessary skills to cultivate independence and self-sufficiency.

Why does my child need to be self-sufficient?

Self-sufficiency is not a skill that a child can gain on their own as children do not have the perspective to develop independence naturally. They’re more likely to stick by you as they feel comfortable and safe. Teaching your child self-reliance is a gift that they will benefit from as it sets a great foundation as they grow into adults.

They’ll learn to have the confidence to explore and take risks to develop a sense of competence and security for themselves that would allow them to take on bigger tasks in adulthood. They’ll also not be afraid to make their own choices, decisions and being accountable for their actions - giving them control over their own lives. This is important as you would not want your child to still be relying on you for the major decisions when they’re in their 30s.

What can I do to encourage self-sufficiency in their daily lives?

There are various aspects when it comes to self-sufficiency that you can develop in your child, from guiding them to problem-solve to being curious about trying new things. The easiest way to guide them is to allow them space to practice this skill-set on a daily basis by trying out the following.

1. Insist on responsibility and accountability

Show your child that even as a child, they have responsibilities too. Sit down and outline each of your responsibilities as an adult and as a child. Have them describe what they need to do to succeed and identify the individuals that will hold them accountable.

For example, completing their homework is a responsibility, and your child will be accountable to you and their teacher. In the case that they do not fulfill their responsibilities, let them learn to live with the consequences.

In the case that they meet a problem or failure, discuss how to get around them, and how they can ensure they are responsible for their tasks in the future.

2. Practice makes perfect

Show them that as a child, they’re part of the team of the family and will be required to chip in whenever they can by practising the various tasks:

Tidying up - If they’re playing with toys, make sure that they tidy up once they’re done playing or moving on to the next toy. This can instill the responsibility to keep their area clean and neat at all times.

Caring for the family pet - Pets bring a lot of joy to a family, and it is time your child gets to take care of it too! Allow your child to feed, shower, and brush your pet on a usual schedule. This would remind them that they’ve got the responsibility to take care of another living thing.

Allow them to prepare some meals - Have an accessible drawer or section where children can fetch their own snacks. Let your child prepare their own lunch boxes and family dinners by getting them to cut their own sandwich, slice some fruits and even fry an egg. Have them refill their own bottle when they’re done drinking or empty the trash to chip in as a family. It is important that although you are guiding them to be self-reliant, tasks should be kept safe until the appropriate age, or under supervision.

Folding their own clothes - Get your child to wash and hang their own laundry, and teach them the basics of folding clothes. Give them empowerment to decide on some things: From getting dressed by themselves to suggesting an activity to do together, give your child the power to choose. This will give them confidence in making decisions that will help them as they grow older.

3. Empowering them with decision-making

By giving them an opportunity to choose, your child can benefit in many ways. It’ll give them confidence in their abilities and feel like they play an important role in the family. For example, letting them decide the movie for movie night, or the snacks for the month. Through this, they’ll feel like they’re getting heard and feel like they matter.

It can also teach them responsibilities and learning from previous experiences. For example, if the decision they chose did not have a positive outcome would allow them to make better decisions in the future. This would also allow space for self-discovery as they discover what they enjoy and dislike.

4. Give them opportunities to make mistakes

As a parent, you should avoid perfection when your child is attempting tasks. You might be afraid the laundry gets folded wrongly, but it doesn’t matter if their shirt gets folded wrongly at first! Let them practice folding and putting away their clothes, even if they make mistakes.

Offer some praise as you’ll want to focus on their ability to do things, instead of getting the job done to your standard. With time, as they get the hang of it, you’ll be able to recalibrate and adjust the way they do things.

5. Prep them to get them started

When it comes to self-sufficiency, helping them kickstart the process can help it be less overwhelming. For example, if you want to get them to pack their lunch and it’s too much to handle the entire chore, start with baby steps. Set out the items he can choose from, or slice the bread and help him along the way.

This is a great way to start them off with challenging chores and letting them gain independence as they get more capable and used to the chores.

There are many chances to guide your child to be self-sufficient but you’ll require some patience and commitment to developing this skill. While it may be easier to just do the laundry, teaching this skill will help give your child a deep sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.

Reaffirm the value of their help and be patient to teach them - with time, you’ll have a self-sufficient child that is ready to take on the world while you watch!

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